


xiuho enthusiasts unite!

by junmyeonssi



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Cuddles, Fluff, Love, M/M, idk - Freeform, idk how parental control works, jongdae is smart????, just xingkai being soft, soft, wtf is xing and ninis ship name, xiuho being dumbfucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-01-25 23:03:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 4,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21364120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junmyeonssi/pseuds/junmyeonssi
Summary: best buy:yes im the best buy (bisexual) man ull ever meetalternatively, exo is xiuhos biggest shippers. xiuho is unimpressed
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Kim Jongin | Kai/Zhang Yi Xing | Lay, Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Kim Minseok | Xiumin
Comments: 54
Kudos: 68





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> heres my [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/jeonghanlys?p=s) if you wanna talk!! :3  
totally wasnt procrastinating on the tentacle chankai fic

**xiuho enthusiasts unite!**

_dae has changed his name to best buy_

**best buy:** better 

**nini:** best buy? 

**best buy:** yes im the best buy (bisexual) man ull ever meet 

**nini:** buysexual 

**big house big car big rings and big dicc:** buying shit is sexual?????? 

**best buy:** where the f u c k did you get that out of eveyrthign ive said 

**furry:** dae...we all know sehun is dumb fucker really thinks 2 x 3 = 10 

**nini:** hyung dont be mean to hun!! :c 

**furry:** sorry sehun 

_t h i g h s has changed his name to best gay_

**best gay:** if dae gets to be the best bi i get to b the best gay 

**best gay:** now why is soos name furry and why is soo more whipped for nini than he is for his actual bf :( 

_best buy has changed best gay's name to t h i g h s_

**t h i g h s:** HE BULLEIS ME EVEYRDSY THIS IS RACIST 

**best buy:** 1st i dont think best gay works as well as best buy nd 2nd soos showing his affection for you in a different way nd 3rd you cant be racist to your own race.... 

**t h i g h s:** when did dae become so...boring who ruined dae 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** isnt it bc of his crush?? 

**t h i g h s:** YIXING MY LOVE SAVE ME FROM SOOS RAICSM 

**nini:** b-but.... 

**nini:** _my_ xing :cc 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** nini :D 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** i love you 

**nini:** i lvoe u too hyung c: 

**t h i g h s:** the betrayal... 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** jongin come to my apartment we can cuddle :D 

**t h i g h s:** WIAT WHO CHSNGED MY NAME BAKC TJ T H IGH S 

**nini:** coming!! c: 

**furry:** it took you half an hour to realize... 

**best buy:** a n y w a y s this gc is a thing bc xiuho themselves are too stupid to get together by themselves and seeing any more sad kicked <s>puppy</s> bunny faces from junmyeon whenever he sees min with me :/ 

**t h i g h s:** i say we shove them into a haunted house and refuse to let them out til they kiss 

**big house big car big rings and big dicc:** but myeon hyung gets scared? 

**t h i g h s:** all the more reasn to clign to minseok :D 

**stop comparing me to plants:** what the fuck 

**best buy:** minsucc(ulent) hyung why are you here fuck hwo to kick someoen out a gc 

**nini:** cuddle jun hyung!! hes very soft 

**stop comparing me to plants:** oh.... 

_t h i g h s has kicked stop comparing me to plants out of xiuho enthusiasts unite!_

**furry:** why was minseok hyung here in the first place... 

**myeon ^^:** parental control system thing does wonders :) 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> haha oops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why the f u c k did this get angsty mianhae at least theres xiuho

**okay boomer**

**t h i g h s:** i cant b the only 1 wondering which of us the gc name is referring to right 

**big house big car big rings and big dicc:** not me 

**best buy:** its at yifan for being a dick and transferring colleges 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** didnt he think kyungsoo despised him? 

**furry:** i do despise him. 

**is gay:** that wasnt scary notat all 

**t h i g h s:** shut up yeol we all kno ur deathly afraid of soo 

**myeon^^:** somebody change my name please 

_stop comparing me to plants has changed myeon ^^'s name to loml_

_stop comparing me to plants has changed loml's name to nations pick_

**stop comparing me to plants:** You Saw Nothing.

**t h i g h s:** gay 

_nations pick has changed stop comparing me to plants's name to nations most beloved_

**is gay:** THERYE NOT EVEN DATING BUT THRUEE SO SOFT NC LVOJG. TO EAHC OTHER 

**t h i g h s:** chanyeol.... 

**nini:** xings cuddles are the best!! c: 

**furry:** hey nini 

**t h i g h s:** WHY DOES JOGNIN GET AH ELLEO ANC I JUT GET PUCNHED IM UR BF 

**t h i g h s:** shahah no 

_t h i g h s has left the chat_

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** um baeks here sobbing really hard? i think ninis shirt is already drenched 

**is gay:** is kyungsoo dven here 

**nini:** i think soo and baek both need to talk... 

**best buy:** min come w me were shopping 

**nations pick:** oh 

**furry:** nini is baek still at yours and xing hyungs 

**nini:** yes im rlly surprised? i didnt know he was capable of crying so hard 

**big house big car big rings and big dicc:** this is why i dont do love and someone change my name its too long 

**kaibaeksoo**

**furry:** baek 

**t h i g h s:** ddint u mean nini lmao 

**furry:** baekhyun stop you know perfectly well i meant you 

**t h i g h s:** funny it took a brekadown from me for you to care avout soemone other thsn jongin 

**nini:** baek hyung give soo a chance he knows he messed up :c 

**t h i g h s:** fine. say whatever it is then 

**furry:** im sorry baek i really dont favor jongin over you and i always thought you were okay with the 'bullying' youve never reacted badly before 

**t h i g h s:** oh the bullyign was fien bc ur other actions still proved u lidkd me but lately all you cares about was jongin all you actions have shown me is thst you like jongin more thsn me i think we need a break for you to figure out if you like jongin and what ull do abotu it goodbye soo 

_t h i g h s has left the chat_

**furry:** well that went well 

**xiuho enthusiasts unite!**

**best buy:** i wasnt the only who noticed myeon hyung got sad when i sad min and i were gonna shop right???? 

**nini:** he did seem more subdued... 

**is gay:** theyre the dumbest gays literally anybody can see how much they like each other... 

**private chat with nations most beloved**

**nations most beloved:** how much longer until they realize were already dating and you just want to win the bet for when i ask you out 

**nations pick:** date tomorrow? 

**nations most beloved:** of course its tradition~ 

**nations pick:** love you hyung <3 

**nations most beloved:** i love you too <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahahah baeksoo?? whats that


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just xingkai being gay and xiuho doing their own thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> love me :(   
sorry for such a tiny update i started this at like 12:40?? so it wasnt a lot of time and im sleepy ill write something tomorrow :D

**okay boomer**

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:**

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** i love :( 

**nini:** xing why :c 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** bc youre cute :(( 

**best buy:** not to interrupt the whole domestic gay bfs time but what happened to baeksoo r they ok 

**nations pick:** i saw them together on campus today but i really cant tell 

**nations most beloved:** you never really can tell whether theyre together or _together_ bc soo always walks with baek to their classes to make sure baek doesnt get any attention from * and so that baek doesnt run off to go look at cute dog pictures or something 

**big house big car big rings and big dicc:** too many words for this time of day

**best buy:** its 8 

**best buy:** pm 

**nini:** cuddle time :D 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** im here nini 

**is gay:** have u ever seen a more perfect couple... 

**best buy:** nd what u cant see from that is the way hes crying his ass off wondering when someone will love him 

**nations pick:** minseok hyung (◕︿◕✿) 

**nations most beloved:** yes myeon? 

**nations pick:** meet me at the library? (◕ᴗ◕✿) 

**nations most beloved:** of course~ 

**xiuho enthusiasts unite!**

**best buy:** THERYE SO WHIPEDP FOR ESHC OTHER I CAMT 

**is gay:** we stan

**okay boomer**

**is gay:** there r fanfics about us bye 

**nini:** fanfics?? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sobs in this is the cutest fic ive written most likely???? considering everything i write is angst or clowning chanyeol-  
baeksoo is not resolved bc soo is a bit dense sometimes..


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi i fucked up and i should be asleep but :3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha :3 my fingers slipped

**okay boomer**

**t h i g h s:** they even gave us ship names 

**best buy:** everybody thinks yeol is a dom.. 

**is gay:** i dont even have sex nobody will use neopronouns with me :// 

**t h i g h s:** what. the. fuck. 

**is gay:** my pronouns r furry/furryself and god/god/gods/godself

**best buy:** couldve been so happy w/o this 

**t h i g h s:** chanyeol is the most clowned 

**big house big car big rings and big dicc:** makes sense 

**best buy:** hunnie and nini are the next most clowned 

**best buy:** did u kno theres a sausage party au fic about us 

**best buy:** YIFAN ATE ALL OF US 

**best buy:** i am so scarred 

**t h i g h s:** rip jongdae 2k19 so close to 2020 sad 

**nations most beloved:**

**nations most beloved:** best man in the world 

**t h i g h s:** ur not even dating him :/ 

**nini:** sorry to disrupt this but i really need to rant can i :c 

**is gay:** ofc :( 

**nini:** o kay so yknow how my lab partner is like nosy..well he apparently went through all my texts when i accidentslly left my phoen bakc and he screnshotoed them and sent them to hidmelf and printeid out the texts ands presd them snf theyre slo over schoo l nvodoy st dchol kene xing anc i were dsitng snd oeiepel kpt laughingv atmme 

**t h i g h s:** what the fuck 

**best buy:** they ship u with taemin what 

**nini:** thsts teh rpovlem they erre sayifn xing manipuslted me intod aing him 

**nations most beloved:** is yixing with you 

**nini:** yeah 

**big house big car big rings and big dicc:** brb gonna fight some ppl

**is gay:** im coming 

**t h i g h s:** im in ik martial arts 

**nations most beloved:** yixing are you on

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** yeah do you need something 

**nations most beloved:** ah myeon and i are gonna come over we have the stuff 

**best buy:** im gonna send a strongly worded email to ninis lab professor and tell her about all this and see if we can get nini a new lab partner + kick the dumb bitch out 

**nations pick:** dont get in trouble hunnie, yeol, and baek dont need to get kicked out of college :( 

~~~

**okay boomer**

**nini:** thank you hyungs and sehunnie :c 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** i love you but come back and cuddle :( 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all typos are meant to be there unless its in a name :3  
and yes if you were there a few months ago or something when i was having a huge breakdown over my parents reading all my texts between me and idkifishouldputhisnameinthisuh?? anyways lets just say im still upset over it 
> 
> lmao and if anybody thinks im sexualizing...well anyways just join the people who think im racist or a kboo or the ones who hate me for no real reason?? idk not the place to rant but im so tired of fucking up or finding out people hate me and idk why just tired 
> 
> the fics mentioned are my fics lmao


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **nations most beloved:** fuck you all im joining your weird other chat :/ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay rip baeksoo

****

**okay boomer**

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** jopping. 

**best buy:** jopping. 

**is gay:** jopping 

**furry:** jopping. 

**nations most beloved:** jopping. 

** t h i g h s:** jopping. 

**big house big car big rings and big dicc:** jopping. 

**nations pick:** "jopping: ejaculating into another's ear, specifically another man" ??? 

**best buy:** can u believe there r some ppl with crushes on him 

**nations most beloved:** dont lie jongdae ik you had a crush on myeon at one point 

**t h i g h s:** JONGDAE WHAT THE FUDKC 

**best buy:** oh yes expose me more oppa <33 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** never say oppa ever again. 

**best buy:** thats racist 

**t h i g h s:** is jongdae like...ok 

**best buy:** were in college what do u think. 

**is gay:** he has a point. 

**is gay:** also baek i got a question for u 

**is gay:** r u nd soo ok yet 

**t h i g h s:** were taking a break 

**furry:** its for the best really 

**t h i g h s:** plus yknow how im doing all the music stuff it kinda busy nd having a bf isnt for the best rn 

**t h i g h s:** but were still friends and im still gonna annoy soo 

**nations pick:** jopping is cursed good night 

**nations most beloved:** i 

**nations most beloved:** help 

**best buy:** . 

**is gay:** . 

**t h i g h s:** . 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** . 

**nini:** .

**furry:** . 

**big house big car big rings and big dicc:** . 

**nations most beloved:** fuck you all im joining your weird other chat :/ 

**best buy:** fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah yeah yeah im late for superm even tho technically im not this chapter just got delayed due to getting bored and looking at gifs :3   
istg if i need to explain this to people to make sure they know its not sexualizing...


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **t h i g h s:** we gays dont deserve this kind of oppression 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just realized i didnt say shit on the names of everybody IM SORRY  
t h i g h s = baek  
furry = soo  
best buy = dae  
nini = jongin  
nations pick = myeon  
nations most beloved = min  
is gay = chanyeol  
sparkly hearts and rainbows = xing  
big house big car big rings and big dicc = hun

**okay boomer**

_t h i g h s has changed the chat name to conspiracy theories_

**t h i g h s:** as ur the reason for this xing u go 1st 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** percy weasley wasnt an ass he just had repressed his furry side too long 

**best buy:** u just wanted to call a weasley a furry and couldnt call charlie one bc dragons arent furry 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** humans were a failed experiment and cows shouldve been the real intelligent lifeforms 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** neopronouns were made by aliens as an evil plot to take us all away

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** god fucked up when he made us so boom flood and but that dude who survived was too smart 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** the real world is actually fake bc fanfics are the real world 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** loona is a group of goddesses come to let the world praise their beauty, talent, vocals, and everything about them 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** we are all alive to praise jonginnie 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** thank you 

**t h i g h s:** im not the only 1 whos realised this is just xing when hes drunk or without enough sleep right 

**best buy:** sehun is here muttering about how his entire life is fake 

**nations pick:** he just started sobbing bc he realized vivi is fake 

**best buy:** xing ge how could u do this to us

**nations most beloved** im coming myeon 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** one more 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** myeon and min are actually dating 

**is gay:** . . .

**nations pick:** im dating someone? 

**best buy:** xing stop causing chaos 

**t h i g h s:** conspiracy theory: everything xing said was just to make all of us have breakdowns 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** oh shit 

**nini:** hyung :c 

_best buy has kicked sparkly hearts and rainbows out of 'conspiracy theories'_

**nini:** hyung :cc 

_nini has added sparkly hearts and rainbows to 'conspiracy theories'_

**is gay:** told u he wouldnt last 30 secs w/o xing 

**furry:** i regret befriending you lot

**t h i g h s:** we gays dont deserve this kind of oppression 

**best buy:** as the best bi boy in here i dont deserve this oppression 

**is gay:** am i straight 

**t h i g h s:** thats wht u get for making a unit with sehun the cishet :/ 

**t h i g h s:** see u couldve made a unit with me the cutest gay to exist but u chose the het :// 

**best buy:** disgusting 

**nini:** arent we all cis tho 

**big house big car big rings and big dicc:** i thot chanyeol used neopronouns

**nini:** right so 

**nini:** r we all cis 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** conspiracy theory: were all supposed to be cishets but us lot came out defective minus sehun 

**best buy:** did u just say sehun was perfect basicslly 

**t h i g h s:** conspiracy theory: were all supposed to be gays and we r minus half of jongdae and sehun is just defective 

**big house big car big rings and big dicc:** this is cisphobic im reporting u all 

**is gay:** oh no im terrified 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again...  
anything sexual sounding is not aimed at exo its just generic jokes and no i didnt look up conspiracy theories everything here is my dumb 1am shit


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what am i supposed to put here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THSI IS SO LATE DUE TO ME BEING BUSY IRL IM SORRY

**conspiracy theories**

_t h i g h s has changed is gay's name to baby yoda_

**t h i g h s:** chanyeol is baby :/ 

**baby yoda:** no im not :( 

**nations pick:** yes you are. 

**best buy:** u cried over seeing a ferret in a hoodie bc u thought it was so cute.

**baby yoda:** ... 

**nini:** yeol hyung cries over animals in general tho 

**nations most beloved:** its because hes a furry 

**best buy:** KSJFSKDJSK HYUGN 

**nations pick:** youre also a furry dae 

**baby yoda:** change sehuns username its ugly 

**t h i g h s:** why cant u change it 

**baby yoda:** idk a better name 

_t h i g h s has changed big cars big house big rings and big dicc's username to stormtrooper_

**stormtrooper:** why cant i be kylo ren :/ 

**t h i g h s:** how many times have u flied into an angry fit and destroyed stuff. 

**stormtrooper:** never 

**best buy:** ur an idiot hun 

**stormtrooper:** nini help 

**nini:** no im cuddling xing :c 

**stormtrooper:** oh 

**stormtrooper:** can u b racist to ur own race???? 

**best buy:** nd thats why ur a stormtrooper 

**stormtrooper:** mean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no clue you cant judge me for this fic im bored and lack motivation to finish tentacle chankai and pls come talk to me on twt im @ kjdeuxs and ill link everything in the first notes thing eventually :3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am not a functioning human being therefore this is how im gonna drown my sadness and all that dumb shit nobody cares about

**conspiracy theories**

**t h i g h s:** WE ALL SAW AND HEARD THAT RIGHT

**best buy:** what 

**t h i g h s:** JUNMYEON IS SO DUMB 

**t h i g h s:** MINSEOK SAID BUNNIES WERE CUTE ND JUNMYEON JUST WAS :c 

**t h i g h s:** MINSEOK ENDED UP HAVING TO EXPLAIN THAT TO JUNMYEON THAT JUNMYEON IS CALLED BUNNY A LOT ND JUNMYEON JUST TURNED SO RED 

**t h i g h s:** i think we kno who the panicked gay is now 

**best buy:** cant believe its junmyeon i was betting on you or sehun :/ 

**nations most beloved:** whos the confident gay then 

**best buy:** you 

**stormtrooper:** shld i be offended u thought id b a panicked gay 

**stormtrooper:** but ur not wrong minseok is definitely a confident gay 

**t h i g h s:** so is xing...occasionally.. 

**nini:** and how would u know that :c 

**baby yoda:** dont make nini cry hes too cute and ull have everybody coming after u 

**t h i g h s:** i was uhhhhh Observing 

**best buy:** yknow u cld like..at least sound believable right 

**nini:** ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

**baby yoda:** wait nini dont cry baeks telling the truth he watches people nd evaluates them and analyzes how they r nd hes got labels for all of us 

**t h i g h s:** for example yeols the dumb tall gay nd daes the annoying bi 

** nini:** oh okay ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** whyd nini cry (๑•̀ㅁ•́๑)✧

**nini:** its okay now!! c: 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** okay...cuddles? 

**nini:** cuddles. 

**stormtrooper:** when can i have that kind of love 

**t h i g h s:** never. 

**stormtrooper:** meanie 

**t h i g h s:** . 

**nations pick:** have i ever said that im gay 

**baby yoda:** uh 

**stormtrooper:** r u saying ur...not gay..... 

**baby yoda:** no hes saying he is gay

**best buy:** i am surrounded by idiots minus minseok 

**nations pick:** :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> b-baeksoo angst anyone?


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi yes this was rushed and rip the baeksoo angst i hit the sobbing over junmyeon bc hes the best hours so this happened

****

**conspiracy theories**

**nations pick:** (｡•́︿•̀｡) 

**nations most beloved:** whats wrong myeon :( 

**nations pick:** (✿˶◕‿◕˶人◕ᴗ◕✿) ? 

**nations most beloved:** omw 

**t h i g h s:** omg? 

**t h i g h s:** that was?? 

**t h i g h s:** so??? 

**best buy:** wholesome?? 

**baby yoda:** cute??? 

**t h i g h s:** i was jst gonna say soft but ok

**stormtrooper:** my cold dead heart might not b so cold or dead now 

**best buy:** junmyeon is like grabby hands x1000 

**t h i g h s:** hyungs got everybody whipped 

**nini:** minseok hyung? 

**best buy:** no myeon hyung 

**stormtrooper:** r u not paying attention nini 

**nini:** :c 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** sehun. 

**stormtrooper:** oops i think vivi needs me gtg 

**t h i g h s:** ok now that thats over lets get back to myeon nd how everybody loves him 

**best buy:** if were talking abt the uni in general well i gotta say were all kinda well liked by everybody... 

**best buy:** sehuns got literally everyone drooling over his body even tho hes dumb 

**best buy:** ninis cute nd even the grumpiest teacher wont wake him up during their class 

**best buy:** soo....well ppl dont like angry soo so 

**best buy:** yeols loud and funny and ppl like tall 

**best buy:** baek is chanyeol but the 2.0 ver and good with everybody 

**best buy:** xing is talented and smart so he got the nerds ig + the dimple

**best buy:** myeons smart and polite and it helps that hes goodlooking 

**best buy:** \+ hes also soft and needs affection 24/7 nobody denies him anything 

**best buy:** minseok is also smart but hes also kinda h*t his fans r wild 

**t h i g h s:** what abt u dae

**best buy:** i was trying to b nice and not go on about how perfect i am but 

**baby yoda:** nope stop right there 

**nini:** myeon hyung shld come cuddle with xing and me :( 

**nations pick:** coming :D 

**baby yoda:** see if minseok hyung was like nini he cld get cuddled by myeon instead of pining 

**nations most beloved:** . 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyways im sad thank you goodbye


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay hewwo i am back and sadder than ever !!!!!

****

**conspiracy theories**

**nini:** hi i love xingie c: 

**t h i g h s:** rly nini @ 3am 

**nini:** nobody said u had to look at the notif :c

**best buy:** yes but y wld baek blame himself when he can blame some1 else 

**t h i g h s:** aw dae u kno me so well 

**best buy:** am grumpy go sleep both of u 

**nini:** cant xingies working on his music thing for the huge project his music teacher assigned 

**nini:** hes got a group but none of them r doing anything with xingie :cc 

**nini:** hes been stuck in hsi studio for the past few days 

**nini:** i miss him >:c 

**t h i g h s:** intervention time? 

**best buy:** intervention time. 

****

**cb(zy)x**

**t h i g h s:** yixing hyung 

**best buy:** leave. ur. studio. now. 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** cant. got work to do 

**t h i g h s:** hyung. nini cant sleep w/o u or at least w/o knowing ur close nd ok 

**t h i g h s:** plus it soudns like uve done more than ur fair,share 

**best buy:** try to get the others to work nd if they dont turn in ur part of the work telling ur teacher what happened im sure shell understand 

**t h i g h s:** gna assume u have the chat muted and therefore cant see ninis sad faces 

**best buy:** bet u hes pouting and staring sadly at his phone rn 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** alright im coming 

**t h i g h s:** good. 

****

**conspiracy theories**

**nini:** hewwo i love xingie hyung c:

**t h i g h s:** i 

**sparkly hearts and rainbows:** i love you too!!! 

**best buy:** saps. also some1 change yixing hyungs username its 2 long 

**t h i g h s:** ill do it 

_t h i g h s has changed sparkly hearts and rainbows name to whipped_

**whipped:** well at least thats not wrong 

**whipped:** very whipped for nini 

**best buy:** jongin has heart in his eyes rn 

**best buy:** big sparkly hearts 

**nations pick:** not to derail this fascinating convo but has anybody heard from kyungsoo 

**best buy:** nope 

**nations most beloved:** i saw him briefly 

**

private chat with nations pick

**

**nations most beloved:** he was talking with yifan. 

**nations pick:** oh okay :/

**nations pick:** can we like maybe possibly go on a date tonight hyung :( 

**nations most beloved:** sure myeonie 

**nations most beloved:** what do you want to do? 

**nations pick:** well...we havent been to the ice skating rink in ages and 

**nations pick:** i kinda want to skate around maybe it looks fun :( 

**nations most beloved:** alright myeonie 

**nations most beloved:** we can leave at 8? 

**nations pick:** yeah 8 sounds good!! :D 

****

**xiuho enthusiasts unite!**

**best buy:** cld swear i jst saw min nd myeon hyungs going on a date 

**best buy:** idk mayb this is more of the dancing around theyre doing 

**t h i g h s:** r u a stalker 

**best buy:** . 

**nini:** is the bet still going on :o

**t h i g h s:** yeah chanyeol better not win 

**baby yoda:** mean 

**nini:** :cc 

**t h i g h s:** fuck y r the babies of the friend group ganging up on me 

**nini:** >:cc 

**t h i g h s:** ...sry yeol 

**baby yoda:** thank u nini :D 

**stormtrooper:** nini make baek hyung apologize to me as well 

**stormtrooper:** hes a bully 

**nini:** hm? 

**nini:** oh i think xingie hyung is here gtg 

**stormtrooper:** this is heterophobic 

**t h i g h s:** sounds great hunnie 

**stormtrooper:** i dont deserve this shit bye 

**best buy:** and then he comes back to complain over how everybody wants to date him besides the one person he actually likes 

****

**conspiracy theories**

**t h i g h s:** were all disasters gn 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear ill get around to not giving baek and dae so much talking time and letting everybody else speak but for now eh  
pls leave a kudos or comment or yell at me on twt or something bc i want to know whos reading my disaster fic <s>no i just want feedback on my fics bye</s>


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> b r o s im back and i love lin yanjun uh this is super short as its just to let yall know i havent abandoned this im just...temporarily shifting to cpop to write myself some barely funny idol producer fics

****

**conspiracy theories**

**best buy:** would like to kno who sehunnie likes 

**stormtrooper:** myself. 

**stormtrooper:** duh 

**t h i g h s:** u ever regret knowing certain ppl 

**stormtrooper:** yeah. i regret knowing u

**best buy:** i regret not knowing who sehunnie likes 

**nations pick:** :o you like somebody? 

**baby yoda:** gUYS y did seok hyung zone out while staring dumbly at his phone 

**baby yoda:** wait lol nevermind 

**t h i g h s:** whipped 

**nations most beloved:** shut up 

**t h i g h s:** very eloquent hyung 

**best buy:** s e h u n who do u like. 

**stormtrooper:** someone 

**best buy:** whats their name 

**stormtrooper:** oh 

**t h i g h s:** oh??????? 

**stormtrooper:** yeah oh sehun. uve prolly heard of him??? 

**nations pick:** sehunnie :( 

**stormtrooper:** STIP JONGDAE HYUNG IS JDT TFYING TO START RUMOSU SNC BOTHRT ME BC I RUIEND HID ESSAY 

**best buy:** A+ spelling right there 

**t h i g h s:** p e t t y 

**baby yoda:** yes u r 

**t h i g h s:** i dont have to stand for this bullying ! 

**stormtrooper:** ur not even standing 

**t h i g h s:** sigh 

**nini:** hewwo 

**nini:** i love yixing good bye :D 

**nations pick:** im 

**t h i g h s:** is he cuddling yixing 

**best buy:** i swear they spend all their free time attached to each other 

**stormtrooper:** disgusting 

**baby yoda:** nice 

**t h i g h s:** u guys r boring im gna nap 

**t h i g h s:** tell me if anything interesting happens bye 

**Author's Note:**

> parental controls :3c  
if you need clarification on names just ask idk if i managed to make it obvious so skfjsk  
also before i get accused of sexualizing sehun big dicc is general and does not refer to anybody or anything or even sehun its a joke :/ bye! xdd


End file.
